There are many people who have suffered bad experiences in their emotional relationships. Couples who have reached a painful end and now are mired in a kind of skepticism when it comes to falling in love again. Is it possible to love without suffering ? Let’s try to know how it is possible to achieve it.
1. Emotional relationships, happiness and suffering
It is often said that when we fall in love, we are especially fragile. There is no greater event than feeling attracted to another person, than to love and be loved. That meeting someone with whom we experience a special union, both physical and emotional.
We cannot deny it, when we love someone we are more susceptible and more vulnerable. We are afraid of many things and among them, especially, being abandoned. Any word or gesture, however unintended and simple, can harm us.
Our happiness is associated with a specific person, and if this person does not show us the affection we expect, or rejects us or is not able to give us commitment and sincerity, we will suffer. It is a clear reality that we have all suffered.
Now, there are people who manage this reality better, and others who simply collapse and appear much more fragile, much more hurt. Loving is an emotional explosion where we can go from the most absolute happiness, to the most bleak sadness. The ideal is to maintain a personal balance and, above all, not to project 100% on our partner the origin of our happiness. To love we must be strong, maintain our self-esteem and a good self-concept. Surely you know people who only conceive happiness when they have a partner. However, when they are alone they feel abandoned and weak. And this is not good. We must also know how to enjoy our loneliness and our independence. The key is in the balance.
2. How to love without suffering
Is it possible to love without suffering? Well, first of all we must clarify that at the moment when something matters to us, it is inevitable not to suffer. We love our parents, our children and our partners, and therefore we care and suffer for them. It is normal and expected. But the essential thing is that the suffering is reasonable and does not make us fall into a depression, for example.
We must learn to manage suffering so as not to drop. To keep our self-esteem afloat and not get shattered. There are people who are more vulnerable than others, people who, because of their personality, may face worse for example a betrayal or abandonment. We are sure that you know people who have fallen into a serious depression after their marriage failed or after their emotional relationship was broken. We must be strong and protect ourselves. We must also be optimistic, if a relationship does not go well, surely sooner or later you will find the right person for you. Love is something that is always worth it, don’t forget it.
But let’s see now what dimensions are going to help us “not fall” in the face of the suffering of love.
1. Love must first of all offer happiness
We must be clear. If one day you wake up with tears and not with a smile, something serious is happening in your life. If what your relationship offers you is more suffering than happiness, you must react. The most important thing in this world is you and your integrity, and knowing how to react in time will avoid further suffering. Sometimes it may be difficult for us to react, but it is worth asking ourselves from time to time. Am I really happy?
2. Keep your self-esteem protected
Don’t let anyone control or manipulate you. If you notice that you are ceasing to be yourself and that it is the other person who decides for you or has your happiness in your pocket, you have to change the situation.
Reaction to. If you have strong self-esteem, if you love yourself, enjoy how you are and feel proud of your personality, you will avoid many sufferings. Let’s give an example. A girl is rejected by a boy. This rejection brings her into a depression and thinks that it is not good for any other man, that nobody will ever love her.
However, her friend, who has a good self-concept and strong self-esteem , reacts otherwise to a rejection : «If this boy has left me, it is because he did not deserve me and has failed to appreciate what I am worth, sure that I find another person who discovers how I am and loves me for myself ».
3. Always look for your inner growth
To love a person in a healthy way, first, you must value yourself and feel that there are things in you that the other person also values. “If I love and respect myself, I will be able to love you as a mature person.” Consider, for example, those people who are especially jealous .
Jealousy originates from insecurity. The people who manifest them think that since they do not value themselves by extension, they also think that their partners can leave with someone better at any time.
It is best to love mature and balanced people, self-confident people capable of bringing happiness and optimism, capable of growing as a couple day by day.
We know that love sometimes implies some suffering. But sometimes it is worth it to build as a couple. If you see that it is not possible, it will always be better not to uselessly extend a situation that only brings sadness. Remember: love is always worth it and you deserve to be loved.